Great job, not much into vomit, but this was superbly well written

Great job, not much into vomit, but this was superbly well written

While I enjoyed the story, I feel you went WAY overboard on the humiliation side of the story. The world and all of the characters seem extremely unnecessarily cruel. However I still enjoyed the story and would like to see more of your works, maybe just dial back a little on the humiliation.

Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. Definitely something to keep in mind for future stories. I'm really big on the whole humiliation thing as you can tell. I often take it a few steps too far :)

Did you have trouble beating Chun Li or something? Why that hate?

Author's Response: Just a fetish. I'm into the whole humiliation thing. Nothing personal against the character:)

Great work! Here is some feedback: In the first chapter the quotation marks were missing at a lot of dialogs. Also you generally tend to Start a lot of sentences with 'chun-li ...'. With the way you made your linebreaks this reads relly strange since almost every line starts with Chun-li, especially in the 2nd chapter. Anyways this has good potential, and I'm looking forward to more.

Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback! I'll keep all this in mind for my future stories. I do plan on revisiting this story for revisions as it was written pretty quickly and technically not complete yet.

This is really dang good. Read it on Omo.org. I like to see more of this

Honestly, I felt the entire plot was cringe-worthy. That's only because I'm not into the whole 'torture' thing. Maybe is Chun-Li won the fight, I would've enjoyed it more. Also, if you had only written about the pantypoop, I would've enjoyed it more... But hey, you done good! The writing was great and so was your description (especially of the vomit, which I didn't like so much). Anyways, this deserves a good review for a good story. Now, there are some problems here. For example, I feel you should've used a few more sound effects. That's it. One mistake. Dude, in all of my reviews, I haven't seen only one mistake. Definitely a 4 star story.

P.S: This first try is way, way better than mine. In fact, I had to remove mine because I was embarrassed about it. If you want to read the remake, It's in the One Piece section and it's called 'Crapping in Alabasta'.

Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback! Constructive criticism is always welcome whether it is positive or negative. I have more stories in the works and I'll definitely try and pay more attention on the sound effects in the future. I'll have to brush up on my onomatopoeia :)