A couple of things make the storytelling awkward right off the bat. I'm taking about the shift from 1st to 3rd person and the shifts back and forth between present and past tense. That being said, I love the premise, and I found the story pretty entertaining. I love how the "clunk" sound puzzles her and makes her stop to check in the bowl. I also like the bit about the crystallizing clothes, but why wouldn't her bra crystallize too? And would she really be that laid back about going around almost naked? The believability is a problem throughout, with things like cartoon glowing toxic waste and a protagonist who's too dumb to live. But this is a very interesting idea, and I'd love to see this story polished up and continued. The cliffhanger makes me very curious about what happens next (it would be cool if her poop was sometimes still normal, and so she poops on the bed and makes her parents think she's crazy).
Author's Response: well this fic is quite old, done in 2005, so before I got better in my writing, plus, at that time Fallenstar was basically my proofreader, though he doesn't like scat fics.
the shift from 1st person to 3rd person was intentional, there's even a break in the story to seperate that fact.
"The believability is a problem throughout, with things like cartoon glowing toxic waste"
The fic isn't intended to be realistic, not all fics are yanno.
"a protagonist who's too dumb to live"
I don't get that part, what do you mean?
