My official thread of.... things I do.

[Jimmy Olsen]

10 pages?  I'd be surprised if that's more than 7,000 words.  Send it on over when you're done, if you don't mind the proofreading taking a while.

Just to clarify, do you want me to just fix the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors, or actually revise/rewrite/expand it?

[OrpheumZero]

Whatever you feel would help improve it. I'm basically writing it to the best of my abilities considering I'm not too that good at doing choatic things like this. If you feel any parts need expanding, you can add in parts, or just leave notes in the spaces between paragraphs. Right now I'm only on page 3, but should be done in a while, either later tonight or early tomorrow. We'll just have to wait and see how it comes along I guess. 

[OrpheumZero]

Well it should only be a few more days before Jimmy finishes proofreading my newest story.  ;D Stay tuned!

[OrpheumZero]

Just posted "Deadline" the long awaited story based on that "Multitasker" picture.

Jimmy should be recognized as co-author, having helped proofread and add a chock full of additional content.

[Jimmy Olsen]

I'd love to hear what you think of my additions.

[OrpheumZero]

It's posted now.

Looks like everything is finally working out.

Anyway. I did like the extened parts, though I will say some felt a little tacked on, like you could (well, me really) see where your stuff was switching back to what I had done. Otherwise it was pretty funny stuff.

[Jimmy Olsen]

I just looked, and the version you posted is one of my earlier drafts.  There are some sentences with missing words, and pieces of dialog where I was confused about which person was talking.  Can you please post the latest version I sent you?  Also, there's a tag that will let you center the title etc.

And yeah, I got the name "Chisa" from Saikano.  I wouldn't care if you changed it.

[OrpheumZero]

What tag is that?

Anyway, it's been reposted. I still included some of the edits I made as well.

[Jimmy Olsen]

It still has the mistakes.  Maybe I sent you the wrong version.  Here, I'll send the fully corrected version, with the centering tags added.

[OrpheumZero]

What mistakes? Looks like everything was there this time. I still had to change the commas and space a few sentences but otherwise it looks right as ever.

[Jimmy Olsen]

There are a lot of different embarrassing mistakes.  The dialog is screwed up in 2 places, because I lost track of which character was talking.  There's a part about the printer in the wrong spot, long before she tries to print the paper.  Just a lot of things like that.  Please put up the one I sent you last night.

[OrpheumZero]

Which lines exactly? I'd hate to have to go through another copy and do my adjustments all over again for a third time.

[Jimmy Olsen]

I made a lot of changes throughout.  It would take me forever to locate them all. 

[OrpheumZero]

Maybe some other time. I'm pretty sure I covered any immediate myself in the present version.

[Jimmy Olsen]

What changes did you make?

I really think you should put up the corrected version.  There are serious problems that affect the clarity, and it's bothering me.