Quagmire's life, as it relates to the interests of this board...

[Quagmire]

(that's ME-"Quagmire" not the 'real' Quagmire that is!  )

   So, *most* (not all) girls tend to be rather "open" around me about bodily functions to various degrees.  Possibly one of the upsides to being stuck as the brother-figure or even "gay best freind" as TvTropes would put it.  I'm not ACTUALLY gay though, but for all the interest the women-folk have in me I may as well be.  Though it has led to some things that those with our "interests" might find, er, interesting.  Now, the most I've gotten are sounds and smells, so anyone looking for an epic recounting of an up-close-and-personal experience, turn ye back now or be disappointed.

   Let's start with an occasional coworker, "Dee."  Dee is about 5'5", long curly black hair.  Somewhat on the plump side in all the best ways - IE, great ass, boobs, and a bit of a tummy.  So one day we're wage-slaving away and she mentions to someone else in earshot, though not trying to be secretive about it, that she really needs to go to the bathroom - she'd been eating beans AND prunes earlier in the day.  She was gone about 10 minutes.  What I would have given to have been a fly on the wall for that...

   That was the first time I'd noticed her being not shy about bathroom stuff, but not the last.  Another day we were working together, I was situated behind her for a moment looking for something.  She looks at me and smiles and says "be careful back there...I have gas!"

   At another point, she mentioned (not in great detail) that her youngest son once jumped out and scared her so bad she wet her pants. 

...That's all for now, pesky things like "sleep" are getting in the way of my typing.  I've more material though, from more coworkers to a childhood friend (where I DID get to watch!) to the "twisted" sister-in-law who is so blantant with me, I have to wonder if she found out about my fetish and is being a cocktease of sorts about it...

[Jimmy Olsen]

Neat story!

It'd be cool if we could get a thread going of real-life nyou-related experiences.

[Bacchus]

I wonder what would happen if Dee, for whatever reason, finds this. Highly unlikely however.

[Quagmire]

Ideally?  It turns out she has the same fetish, instantly deduces who I am, and a copious amount of sex ensues.   ;D  And hey, she *is* divorced...

[yarr]

I think Micro got something brewing.

[Quagmire]

I HOPE so!  (As in, Micro's going ahead with the autobiography thing... )

I'll continue this eventually, just have to wait for the writing mood to strike me...

[Jimmy Olsen]

I think Micro got something brewing.

Microbrewery, nice one, Yarr.  ;D

[Quagmire]

El bump, not for past stories but a recent one.

I'm getting ready to switch jobs, but I'm kinda under secrecy as to where I'll be going per my soon-to-be new boss.  But word is slowly getting out (as I'm far from the only one in on this little venture).  A girl at work that I'm friends with came up to me and said "I know your secret!"

Said girl is pretty tall and while not fat, she's nice and thick (IMO).  A bit hyperactive at times.

Anyway, being inspired by the Smallville finale (why, I dunno...bit of a letdown), I said "you know my secret?  That I am...the BLUR?" while doing a Clark Kent-esque shirt opening (I undid the buttons first!  ).  She LOLed and then some...she exclaimed that she had to go to the bathroom, she almost peed on herself!